Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
