Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
