You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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