He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
