meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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