Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
