Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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