why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
