we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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