When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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