Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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