he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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