Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
