You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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