Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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