Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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