She just used a chaser for red wine.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
