If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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