any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to sanitize my soul.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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