wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
