You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
