We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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