I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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