I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
