OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
