like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
pray to the hookup gods
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
