Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
