I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
