i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
