the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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