after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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