sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
