I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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