his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
