She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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