went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
