if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
