i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
