Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
