I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
