Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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