I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
