their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
