I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
