.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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