you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
