pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
