I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
