am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
