I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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