the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
