isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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